Before I began serving the Lord, I was a sinner lost deep in sin. I had so much pain and anger built up inside of me that I dealt with the emotions in a negative way. I searched for peace and happiness in all the wrong places, leaving me with shame and regret.
I grew up in a very Christian household. My mom was a Sunday school and children’s church teacher and my dad was a traveling evangelist, who would later become a pastor. I grew up going to church every Wednesday night and every Sunday. I grew up traveling to different nursing homes and singing to the residents and listening to my dad preach. I grew up deeply immersed in the ministry.
When I was thirteen years old, my life began to change for the worst. My dad stopped pastoring and became an abusive alcoholic and through all the abuse, I grew angry at God and turned away from Him. I blamed God for my family falling apart and because my blame was directed at Him, I didn’t feel like serving Him anymore.
I fell into the wrong crowd at school and began drinking at the age of thirteen. By the time I was a sophomore in high school I already had a drinking problem. I’d steal my dad’s liquor and drink it before school, going to school tipsy or even drunk at times. I’d skip school to drink with my friends and had one of the worst GPA’s in my class. I simply didn’t care anymore.
I began searching for happiness in guys and ended up with a reputation that is hard to get rid of once you have it. I gave myself to guys who didn’t deserve me, my body, or my feelings. I wanted to feel good about myself and feel happy, but I was looking for those feelings in all the wrong places.
But deep down I knew that what I was doing was sinful and wrong. The way that I was raised and taught wouldn’t depart from me.
In the year of 2011, I went to church camp with a bad attitude. I didn’t want to be there and everyone knew it. But one night, during the teen service the Lord worked on my heart until I couldn’t ignore Him any longer. I got up from my seat, uncrossed my arms, and couldn’t get to the altar fast enough. I hit my knees that night and stayed in that altar for four hours or more. Jesus not only saved me from my sins, but He sanctified me and filled me with the Holy Ghost that night.
A weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Christ has completely transformed me into a whole new person.
Since Christ saved me and made me whole, I haven’t taken one drink of alcohol, cussed, or slept around. I went from being a rebellious teenager and young adult to a born again Christian saved by God’s grace. When Jesus came into my heart, He filled me with His joy and His peace. No longer was I empty and angry. Instead, Christ poured Himself into me and into my life, filling me with His beautiful presence and characteristics.
When I look back on my life, I can’t help but cry. I was a sinner lost deep in sin, heading down a very bad path. There were many who told me I would never amount to anything in this life because of how I was. But Jesus had a different plan for my life and proved everyone who doubted me wrong. He had a divine plan and purpose for just me and it took me obeying His call to discover it and change my ways.
I’m sharing my testimony today for those of you who may read my blogs but don’t personally know Jesus Christ as your Savior. Maybe you feel as if you’ve done too much bad in your life to ever make it right. Or maybe you feel like Jesus could never truly love you and help you become a completely different person. Whatever your reasons are for not serving the Lord, I want you to know that there is nothing you can do that would ever make Christ not love you. He died for every single one of us, so that one day we could be saved from sin and an eternity in Hell.
If you are struggling today with sin, I want you to remember that Jesus is always on the throne. He will never force Himself on you or make you serve Him, but He so badly wants for you to come to Him and discover just how powerful and great His mercy is. It isn’t His desire that any of us stay lost and deep in sin, but it is His desire to see each one of us saved and living for Him.
I used to be ashamed of my story, but then I realized there are others out there still suffering in their sin. They need to know that Christ can save them too. If you are one of those who need Christ in their lives today, I urge you to find a place to pray and ask Christ to come into your life. It will be the best decision you will ever make. You don’t have to stay living in your sins today. You can have a better life and it only takes one sincere prayer.
If you don’t know how to pray for salvation today, here is a prayer you can start off with:
“Dear Jesus, please forgive me for my sins today. Wash my heart as white as snow and cleanse me of all my sins. Help me to overcome the sins that I struggle with today and rid me of the desire to ever do them again. I’m so sorry Jesus, for my sins. Please save me and make me whole today. I want to serve you and live for you. I accept you as my Lord and Savior”
Scriptures on Salvation:
“For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.” 1 Corinthians 15:22
“For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;” “Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:3-4
“And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel.” Mark 1:15
“For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.” Hebrews 8:12
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17