When Bitterness Seeps In

It seems like I have been having a lot of bad days here recently. I have just been very bitter about the way my life is and it has caused me to not be in the mood for much of anything. Have you ever looked around you and just felt like your life wasn’t going anywhere? It is hard when you are sitting back, watching those around you accomplish awesome things and here you are, binge watching Netflix for the day.

I’ll be the first to admit, there are days where I hate this military lifestyle. Maybe that sounds harsh or makes me sound like I’m not being supportive, but it is the truth. Don’t get me wrong, this lifestyle has also been a huge blessing to me and my husband and for that, I’m thankful. Even though this lifestyle has been a blessing in a lot of ways, it has also been a huge, stressful burden to bear. Sometimes the burden just gets too heavy to carry.

Deuteronomy 1:9 says, “And I spake unto you at that time, saying, I am not able to bear you myself alone:”

Has there been times in your life where you feel the weight of your burdens dragging you down? You felt like you just couldn’t go on any longer like this. I’ve been there and felt the same way before. I can say with confidence that God was with me, helping me carry the weight of my burdens. He will help you carry the weights that are dragging you down. 

I’ve been bitter for some time now. It isn’t because I’m not a supportive wife, but it is because I’m a human being with ambitions and dreams. Before my husband joined the Army, I had a good career that I loved and I had an active ministry in a church that I love. When my husband joined the service everything changed for me. I had no job and was on the job hunt again. My home church was nowhere near me, making my ministry feel nonexistent. I became bitter and somewhere along the way, the bitterness has made my heart its home.

We all have dreams and goals. We all want to do something with our lives and feel like we are worth something. It can be hard when the things that made us feel important are taken away from us due to the duty of this country coming first. It makes us angry and it makes us bitter to have our dreams and goals pushed into the shadows. Maybe we don’t mean to let the bitterness seep in, but slowly it does and it takes over our emotions and eventually, it eats at our relationships.

God wants to take our bitterness and turn it into contentment.

Philippians 4:11 says, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

I used to get mad when people quoted this scripture to me when I was down, but now I appreciate it for what it is. This scripture teaches us to be content in all things, no matter how painful those things may be. It is a hard scripture to follow when you don’t understand why your life is the way it is, but it is one that we should all strive to live by. God knew our lives wouldn’t always be a bed of roses, but He excepts us to be content in the thorns. Whether we are happy or sad, we have to be content with what we have and where we are in life.

It is through contentment that we will overcome our bitterness.

Ephesians 4:31 says, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:”

This scripture teaches us to let go of all bitterness and to give it to God. Bitterness will eventually turn us cold, making our hearts full of the things that weigh us down. When we allow our bitterness and disappointment to overtake us, we are losing sight of the God who can take away the pain and replace it with His joy and contentment. We serve a God who wants us to be full of joy, contentment, long suffering, and happiness no matter what we are going through.

Our lives may not be what we wanted them to be, but they are everything God planned them to be at this moment. We may still have dreams and goals, but who says we can’t achieve them? We may want careers and feel as if we will never get them, but we serve a God who knows the desires of our hearts and will provide us with everything we need. When we look to God, the bitterness will melt away and the contentment will flood our hearts and souls.

If you are struggling today with being a MILSO, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. You have free access to a God who is always right there to listen to our cries and comfort our hurting hearts. Let God know the desires of your heart and pray for His will to be done, believing that in His time, they will come to be. Don’t sit around and mope like I have this week. Instead, get up, look around you, and take the time to realize just how blessed you are. When we take the time to see what all we have, we will realize we have so much to be joyous about and not nearly enough to be bitter about.

We’re young and we’re old. We’re strong and we’re capable. We have dreams and we have goals. We serve the only living God who is on our side, fighting for us, and helping us reach our goals. We have all that we will ever need in Christ. Let the chains of bitterness fall to the ground today and let God fill you with His contentment. You are right where you need to be today.





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